Some where along the way I heard a parenting tip: say ‘yes’ more than you say ‘no’. I have really taken this to heart and fully believe in the theory behind it. For example, I have a friend that was saying “no” to simple things like when her child would ask for an apple right after lunch. There is no harm in having an apple. Parents need to say “yes” to the simple things so that when we say “no”, the kids know that we really mean it. Of course my kids will still try to persuade me but they know that I will typically stick to my guns because I don’t say “no” too often. On some topics they know to ask Daddy first, especially when it comes to eating sweets or getting a treat. He likes to spoil them in that way and I always thinks about what’s in the treat and always say “no”. It’s my thing.
Lately there have been things that I have wanted to say “no” to but thought that saying “yes” would be more fun and a something that I should allow them to do. These two things made me a cool mom that day and we had fun together. Here are two examples:
I said yes to wet slide….
I picked wilson up from school after it had rained all morning. He asked me if we could go to the playground next to the school so that he could “go down a water slide”. He was asking if he could go down the slides that were full of water at the playground. I wanted to say “no”, but thought that there was really no harm in him getting cold and wet if he was having fun. So I said “sure!”. He went down every slide, got soaked, had fun, and we went home to take a warm bath. Totally worth the extra effort on my part.
Yes to swimming…
Faith asked if we could go swimming at the Y one afternoon. I was very tempted to say no because I don’t like to go to the pool, especially in the winter. But, I agreed, packed up our stuff and headed to the Y. It was such fun! The four of us swam in the pool for over an hour. I really enjoyed spending that time with them and would go back to do it again. So glad that I stepped out of my comfort zone to do something fun with the kids.
I am sure that I have many more examples of saying yes when I want to say no. “Can we take the cushions off the couch?” is one I hear quite often. :). Sometimes I really have to weigh the costs before I answer their requests. I ask myself “would it be so bad to say “yes” right now?” If it doesn’t require me to do too much extra work, involve sweets, or put the kids in danger then the answer is probably “yes”.