As you know, when it comes to which school the kids attend next year we have many options to choose from, sort of. There are many options but not all of them have worked out. The options have become more and more narrow as the weeks have gone on. First, the kids did not get into Union Academy, which is a charter school in town. Then, they both were offered a spot at Metrolina Christian Academy. I had applied here during my short, but very real panic attack back around Valentine’s Day. I freaked out because I realized that they may not be going to a Christian school, which is what I love most about Faith’s school now. The woman from Metrolina called me one Tuesday and said that I had four days to decide whether or not I wanted to enroll them for next year or else the spots were going to go to the next child on the wait list. (We had already bumped Wilson down a spot once before because we didn’t want to commit.) I had to decide whether or not to spend the deposit money to enroll the kids at Metrolina when I didn’t know if we were going to move into a good school district or not.
I am usually able to hear fairly clearly what God wants me to do in life. I have no trouble knowing what He is telling me what to do each day, where to work, if we should move, etc. This decision, however, stumped me. There were so many factors: money, religion, us moving, us selling our house, public school districts, leaving CDS, etc. I had a really hard time separating out all of the many factors that were contributing to my indecision. I think I cried for a majority of morning that Thursday, which was my last day of decision making. I felt like I was determining the rest of their lives with this one decision.
I had to tell Metrolina by 3:00pm whether my children would be going there or not. I prayed that God would make it “abundantly clear” what my decision should be. Even at the end of the day, I was still unclear, and I still am, somewhat. I continue to wonder – Did God tell me months ago to “wait”, but I didn’t and now I have caused all of this strife in my life by not waiting? I will never know. What I do know is that I was emotional about this decision for many, many reasons. Probably the biggest reason is that I am a mom and I want the very best for my kids – just like every other mom on the planet.
A couple of events helped make my decision clearer (and the fact that at 2:45pm my mom and Tom both said “Enroll them!”) :
1- I cried every time that I thought about them going to a non-Christian school. This is not because I thought that they would be miserable or mistreated at a public school, but because I love the community of the Christian school, I love that the teachers pray for their students, and I love they look at each student as a child of God with different strengths, talents and weaknesses.
2- In Bible study I read the verse. “So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” 2 Corinth. 4:18 This spoke volumes to me in regards to spending the money on private school vs spending the money on a house and vacations. I may not be able to see with my eyes the value of a Christian-based education, but I will see it in eternity. I will know that I have given them a solid foundation in Christ that is immeasurable in earthly terms. The vacations and a nice house are not what are most important in this life. (Although, I am sure that God will provide for those as well.)
3- My mom went with me to the school to tour it one more time. I was going to go alone, but since I was such a basket case of emotions I thought it would be best to bring someone along with me. I value my mom’s opinion on just about everything (especially on Godly and financial matters) and knew that if she left thinking it was a good school then it must be one. The tour was given by a woman named Monique who was so sweet and kind. She knew my struggle to make the decision and empathized with me. At the end of the tour she held our hands and prayed for me, my children and my decision. Later that afternoon, my mom said that they should be going to Metrolina because it is important to send them to a Christian school during their formative years. Coming from my mother, and my accountant, that was a big vote of confidence that we would be making a good decision both financially and spiritually for our family.
4 – I didn’t want to leave it all up to us moving and being able to change school districts. (Maybe lack of faith on my part, but no one likes the unknown.) I didn’t know where we were going to move or even if we were going to move to a new house this summer. I didn’t want to send them to the school that we are currently zoned for due to the school’s late hours. I wish that there was a school that had only a 4-5 hour day. That would be perfect! I would love to homeschool, but I know that I wouldn’t be very good at it. The day would end with me saying, “Oops, we didn’t get to our work again today. Oh well. Maybe tomorrow.” I have a vision of what a homeschool mom and family are, and we are not it – well organized activities, maps on the wall, a flourishing garden, well attentive children, etc…..not us!
In the end, all of these things added up to help make my decision clearer than it was that morning. We decided that we would enroll Faith and Wilson into Metrolina Christian Academy. As the weeks have passed, I am feeling more and more comfortable with our decision. Faith and Wilson both know that they will be going to this school in the fall and are excited to be together.
The bottom line is this: God is in control of ALL things. I have to have enough faith to trust that God is going to provide the money for the upcoming year(s) of private school. I need to trust that He will take care of my kids no matter where we live or where they go to school. Even if we change our minds this summer after we move, I know that my children will be taken care of and that they will learn to know and trust God in their day to day lives. I am thankful that we have the ability to make this type of decision. Never in a million years did I think that this would be something that would be an option for our family. I know that we are very blessed….no matter where we end up.